Evening Dresses PM on November

Logistics partyplanning family It's that old storyi'm from texas, she's from michigan, and we live in chicago.We figure we should have a city hall ceremony, with just a few people, so that we are married in illinois(Wedding 1! ) She has relatives in michigan who can't travel for health reasons, much like my mom in texas.So, we want to"Recreate"The ceremony in michigan(2! ), and then in Texas(3! ), about two weeks apart(At least). Pros:I used to dj weddings, i've produced theatrical shows large and small(Size and budget), I've worked as a party planner, a business trip/meeting/conference organizer, and a bit for catering companies.I am also excellent with logistics and planning.My fiance plans conference meetings, and is great with small details.We can probably use a relative's farm for the weddingIn michigan.A friend of mine is going to"Stage manage"For me(As opposed to djing)In michigan. Cons:We're not rich, or even welloff.Her parents are semiloaded, but we don't know how much we can count on them, without them trying to control things.They are religious, we aren't. Has anyone else in the hivemind ever done something this crazy?I'd appreciate any advice i can get, on any of the varied things i might not know about planning weddings.I'm not asking for a"Howto" (Although i wouldn't refuse one), I just want to know some of the pitfalls and landmines we should watch out for, and any tricks or tips that could help. I'll stop before i get too longwinded.If you have any answers that require the answers to specific questions, ask 'em, and i'll answer 'em, if they aren't too private.Thanks in advance. Posted by weirdoactor to human relations(23 answers total) I should mention:The michigan wedding will be 120+ people, texas will be around 40+;She has a lot more family than i do. Posted this page by weirdoactor at 12:09 PM on November 7, 2006 Are you talking about bridesmaids and walking down the aisle and exchanging rings and saying vows and all of that performed twice in different venues two weeks apart?I have to say such an idea(Putting together a touring company of your wedding)Sounds odd and(More to the point)Sort of quixotically expensive.I say quixotically because you'll be spending money twice over on flowers, bridesmaid dresses, formal wear rentals and such, without a whole lot to show for it in guest satisfaction. What sounds more likely here is that you want to host two wedding receptions in two different places.Basically, then, you are talking about two largescale parties, presumably with catered food and a certain amount of free booze, possibly with entertainment(The djing you mentioned). I would try to enlist the aid of the families, and not only on the financial level.The bride's family will have a better idea of what sort of venues and caterers are available(And at what cost)In their home town, and coordinating this kind of affair is always easier if you're actually onsite instead of a thousand miles away.Same idea with your family in texas. One possible idea:Assuming you're having photos or video taken of the actual civilCeremony, you could put together a presentation to be displayed at the parties not as a"Home movie"Kind of thing, but perhaps on a continuous loop on a large screen tv somewhere off to the side of the main festivities.Meanwhile, people get to eat, drink and dance, which is the fun part of a wedding anyway.Il)Ceremony?And if it's just your mom that's really so sick in tx she absolutely cannot travel, not even by car or plane to michigan, why have a whole separate wedding for 40 people?Why not just do something special with her? Do you really need three ceremonies, or do you just want them? Posted by thepinksuperhero at 12:40 deals on Evening Dresses PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite] Please note that there is no reason for you to have a chicago wedding if you're getting a license in michigan or in texas;It'll be legally recognised in il no matter what state you choose to do the paperwork in.In michigan, you don't need to be a resident to get married(But you do have to apply for the license a month beforehand. )See here for info on michigan marriage laws. And chicago and michigan are close enough that you can reasonably expect chicago friends to attend a michigan ceremony.I speak as someone who spent the odd weekend in chicago as a teen in ann arbor. Or, in short, don't make this harder than it needs to be try sticking to two weddings instead of three. Good luck, and much happiness in your marriage! Posted by andrhia at 12:41 PM on November 7, 2006 On preview, la cieca's idea of making it more about 1 wedding and 2 parties than 3 weddings sounds perfect.And maybe that's what you meant in the first place. Posted by thepinksuperhero at 12:41 PM on November 7, 2006 [1 favorite] Instead of thinking in deadly metaphors(Pitfalls and landmines), think about the advantages.Everything you like about weddings, you get to do three times.You get a chance to make everyone happy(Fewer compromises)Because you split the crowd into your family, her family, and the people you actually chose.You have three chances to get the words right.You have three chances to get all the good pictures right.Three chances to play the right music in the right order.Three chances to wear those silly clothes.Three chances not to trip/faint/puke.Three times to announce to the world that you love her. Cause she's once.Twice.Three times a lady. (Ok, now you can puke. ) Posted by pracowity at 12:45 PM on November 7, 2006 My friends recently did a"Wedding tour".But were married in maine with immediate family and a few guests.The groom's family then hosted a reception in connecticut the next week.They did not do another ceremony, although the bride did wear her dress again and the groom wore a tux.At one point they had a blessing, and they also did another cake ceremony.Like la cieca recommended, they had their wedding photos on a powerpoint presentation showing during the connecticut reception.

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